The pain

All most 11 years ago a man came into my life, I man I trusted with all a man whom was unlike anyother, Many said ti get away he is holding me down, I refused to believe, I fell in love with this man I dreamed someday he would love me, I have learned love can be the destruction of life, I cheated out of desperation of attention, This man no longer talked to me or wanted to spend anytime with me, I nursed him to health numerous time I was his main source of support, Yet he never loved me. I see what others have said but did not want to believe, It is  true for the one I cheated with is the one he ran off to live with, The pain is not that he hurt me it is that after all I gave he chose to run off with a stranger, A person who lied to his face, I do not think he even cares that I cheted only that he gets what he wants, The only time he speaks to me is to ask for something, and still i can not hate this man. I have been told I must let him go, I am the one abusing my self noe, since I know the truth if I continue anything with him I am the abuser of self, I will  always love him even though he never loved me, I pray I have the strength to continue 5 very souls depend on me he abandon even the pets for the stranger. I hate him and yet I love him......... I do not care I miss him and still believe he is a good person. i wish he would have trusted me like he did this stranger,

Trying to make it right

This has been a very emotional time in my life. I want to thank my friends who were there for me. Reaching out the hand of a friend. I am not good at asking for help yet my friends know when I need it. Thank you again. My life seems to be getting back on track. I am thankful and greatful.

The Devil came to visit

I am truly sad the devil came to my house and I was unable to defend against it. A family for nine years has been destroyed. From the first day that the devil arrived I was against it but in my foolishness to make my partner happy I allowed this devil into our lives. I take full responsibility with that comes change I am now a single dad of 4 great beings I will do my best to nourish them and make it in life. I know it will be a struggle and the emotions are already here. All day I see the sadness in the eyes. The pain of missing a love one. I am not the greatest man on earth nor the best person to be around. I am loyal and faithful. I am devoted to family and honest. This is were I failed instead of being honest I allowed personalty before principles and I must now pay a price. I have loved a man for 9 years the good the bad the hurt the happiness. I pledge to walk thru life with him to be there no matter what today I awake alone lost and in pain. The person I love is not here but the devil is. It is a sad day. It is a hurtful day.

life

Hi all it has been a while since I have wrote anything.

Alot has changed since I lase wrote. I want to say first I love my life.

I am sitting out by my pool relaxing to the sounds and taking a moment to have peace.

Life is a gift I dont get to enjoy much and I miss Patrick alot. I have decided to find time to find my self. We are living in one of the most beautiful places on earth. We have no more roommates and it is nice. I know as long as I put God first and get out of his way things will only get better. I am trying to learn not to have the need to be in control all the time. Wow what a relief it is to know the world can exist with out my help.

Rememberance

I am the luckiest Man in the world.
Thank you Tom,
Thank you for believing in me when no one else did.
Thank you for loving me when I could not.
Tonight I remember the love and am blessed to have you in my life

Wonder

My man is my wonder. My wonder Man, The man who makes me wonder. The wonderful man in my life. He is wonderful. So much shit has gone in our life yet somehow we survive. We have a few very dear friends who are there for us we are truly blessed. I am truly blessed.

I

I am me you r you



I am me