The pain

All most 11 years ago a man came into my life, I man I trusted with all a man whom was unlike anyother, Many said ti get away he is holding me down, I refused to believe, I fell in love with this man I dreamed someday he would love me, I have learned love can be the destruction of life, I cheated out of desperation of attention, This man no longer talked to me or wanted to spend anytime with me, I nursed him to health numerous time I was his main source of support, Yet he never loved me. I see what others have said but did not want to believe, It is  true for the one I cheated with is the one he ran off to live with, The pain is not that he hurt me it is that after all I gave he chose to run off with a stranger, A person who lied to his face, I do not think he even cares that I cheted only that he gets what he wants, The only time he speaks to me is to ask for something, and still i can not hate this man. I have been told I must let him go, I am the one abusing my self noe, since I know the truth if I continue anything with him I am the abuser of self, I will  always love him even though he never loved me, I pray I have the strength to continue 5 very souls depend on me he abandon even the pets for the stranger. I hate him and yet I love him......... I do not care I miss him and still believe he is a good person. i wish he would have trusted me like he did this stranger,