Vent

today I find myself very angry, hurt, and disappointed. I have a hard time accepting I was used. I want to believe I am just having a hard time but as I reflect on the last 11 years I can see it is not so. This blog has been my safe place for years and with that said it will continue to be. I sit here and think about the times I was sick and how he was never there for me. I remember the time I was in major pain went to the ER he dropped me off said to call when I could leave. Or when I was doing interferon never was he there to hold me or anything I worked and still cared for the dogs and cleaned the house. Or when I had the surgery on my arm it was a Thursday come Friday I am still on pain meds well he had a date for Friday night with the punk 20 plus years younger then him. So off he went. Or when I just had surgery on my mouth he came picked me and dumped me off at the house did not even give me the gauze. There is more. Like for months I told him I wanted the punk out of the house. He was trying to get me to sleep with him, I tried to not cause a problem and told Tom I wanted him out of the house but no, we'll now I understand why. This punk knew what he was doing and had a plan. When I told him I was going to tell Tom, well he said who do you think he will believe. Of course I thought me you know I a confessing to something, well when Tom asked the punk he lied, and of course Tom believed him, even when I made he admit so Tom could hear he still tried to lie. And still Tom runs away with him. I think walking in an catching the punk giving him a massage should have and was the clue. Yes I am at fault yes I allowed it to happen, man to this day I regret my choice, even after I caught him having an online thing, I stayed it is my fault. He is gone now it is hard because I still want to lie to myself, the fact is he never cared or ever will. He has abandon the pets, and me. Fuck him