Sitting on the airplane

I am luckey the plane is not full so I have room a chick cut me off to get the door seat I wanted to get mad but that's life.



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LAX

Well today is a first for me.
I amflying to Kansas to meet my daughters who are 13. This is the first time since they were infents. Also this is the first time I will be away from Tom, 4 days may not seem like a long time to some but when you have spent the last 7 years daily with someone a day can seem like enternity and a week can seem like a second. I know all will be ok and that god wil take care of all. I am sitting at LAX waiting to board a plane. the waiting area is getting busy I wonder were all these people are going.

A Nice Sunday Morning

Hello world listening to Diana Ross aint no mountain High anuff and just enjoying the life God has given me. It is a nice fall morning here in Corona. Not much going on Tom is working on some photos he went and did yesterday the boys are sleeping and at this very moment not a damn thing to complain about how nice In a few days I am headed to Kansas to see my daughters and sister I am doing better with it.

Sick day @home

Well Tom is now sick and I mean real bad. I need to get home and take care of him. I am at Toyota getting my oil change and the going to Matthews to move his fish tank. I feel bad that I am not at home for Tom yet when he is sick he wants to be left alone. I will stop by cvs get him some sick stuff take some myself so I don't get worse.


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Just a night

Well here I sit waiting for a meeting. I am feeling sick. I can not wait in Friday as soon as I get off it is home and bed. Things are getting better and I know god will do for me and my love ones. It is nice to sit here alone just being by myself. I miss my time. Sometimes it is so over whelming. Yet I. Know that if I just sitback god will take care of it. In a few weeks I am going to Kansas I tell myself it is no big deal bur it is my sister told me on Monday that the girls will be there that weekend. I hope I don't break down. To see in the flesh a creation of a life that came from me. I have never even thought about it the last time I saw the girls they were babies so this is a trip. I know god has a reason for this and I have to give it to him and look for the lesson and blessing. I am greatful that Tom understands why I am going and supports me. I am also worried my dog will be upset that I am going to be gone. I so much love him and the love his so freely gives. Well I will sign off for now


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Today I am not happy

I have tried and tried again. Today I want go just say fuck it. I am so sick from all this. I get told of all my faults have to walk in my own house on eggs shells spend a lot of time fielding bullshit to keep peace. And in return I am treated like a punk. Talked shit to when ever and expected not to have an opinion. No people my life is not great. My life sucks. I have no harmony I have no support I am in he'll and the fact if this is the gift of sobrity give me a bottel and a point I want off this fucking ride. Love hurts and hurts even more when the person you loves could not give a damn. When if is all about them there world there needs. I did not change my life to be a prisoner to someone else and there shit. I am not responsable for others there issues and the fact that I am a grown man I should be in a grown relationship. God if you are reading this I pray for streangth. Tonight I want to run give up and get the fuck out. I have never hated my life as much as I do right now. God give me strength to see the gift I know it is there.

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Just a short note

Well me and the kids are spending a nice night at home both the boys are sleeping happly with me. My life is going good. I am happy I am a very blessed person. Thank you god.


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