Someday

I live for the day when I can be me free,
Free to express the me I long to be.
I am not that complex or confusing
yet I fight inside cause others don't understand.

Today is Sunday my chosen day of rest, I have done so much and yet done nothing,
my plans went away and I had fun, Went to Chucky cheese played like a child and went swiming.
It is almost bed time now. I have to work in the morning and I am tirerd this blog makes no sense so I will just sign off have a great night world.

Just a fridaynight

Hello world it is me SirSteinbeck dad uses my name but I am for real. Well this week was ok. Hey its is me Patrick. It is friday night and I am still up. TO made some bomb ass fried chicken, This week was ok, I have been stressing alot. So I am just rying to relax and spend some rest time. i got google voice today. That is the bomb. After this month I think things are going to get better work is going ok but I still want to get back into the field I know. any way out of here have a good night

My Life

Hello world it is Sunday night I am kicking back in bed with my best friend Sir Steinbeck my beautiful Black Lab. He is the most loyal and dedicated friend I have ever had. We are watching a movie the joker. We went on a camping trip this weekend stay was interrupted due to Almighty Thor, poor baby hurt his leg but he was a trooper. I think he is ok. I am working on making some major life changes as my 41st birthday is coming up. I am going to check in to getting my drug and alcohol counseling degree so I can help people. I have some wreckage from my past to face and clean up. So I can move forward it is easy but I have just not did it. I have to take care of the student loan I never got so i can get one and go to school.

TO is sick still I hope he gets better, he is a great man. I know he is about out of his funk and is ready to get on with life, we have a great opertunity at this point, we can start to save and I want to. I have chosen to quit smoking for real. Today is my last day.
My goals for my 41st year on earth are.
1 quit smoking.
2 get into shape.
3 run a marathon.
4 save 1000 dollars
5 eat healthy
6 build my bed room set I have designed
7 write a short story
8 get more orginzied
9 go to school
10 clean up my tax issue and child suport
11 Get a good and better paying job ( all I have to do is work on my reume )

I know I could have a better life I just have to find a way to get the time to do it. I am so worried about the stupid stuff , ( is my house clean is everyone ok, I very seldom take time for me )
I need to go back to the basics in life. I am very forunate I have a great man, 4 great kids.

I have always dreamed I would one day make it as a writer, it is hard for my to slow down long anough to put my thoughts in words. This is the longest blog I have done. I think I am getting there. Anyway world good night and have great Week.

Ready for the big day.

It is here we are going on our first camping trip. The funny thing is for years I wanted to go camping and now we are. We are sick this week . this week has been a big test of my faith I have been stressing alot but this morning I gave up and God took over. I sometimes forgets it is not me. God put TO in mylife for a reason. I am a blessed man. I am so exceted about camping. A whole weekend. Steinbeck is here in bed with me. He is such a devoted boy. When I think of all the things God has put in my life I can not help it but have gratatude. I am working on my faceebook cause. I have deceded to use the cyberworld and make a major prescance in it. Well thats it for toninght.

I am greatful for

AA
God
Tom
My Pets
My Friends
James
Daryl
Rich
Robert
Pablo
and Mom and Dad

My Job
the abilty to look forward
to have my health ( even thou I am sick)
Juan Salas

What can I do

Well it is Friday night the week is over and I ask myself what can I do. TO is in that place again. A place I dont like. I am in my room cause It is hard to be around him. When he is not in that place he is nice and fun to be around. After 7 years I have come to learn to leave him alone and let him go thru it. It is getting harder these days cause TO is not working and is beating him self up. I have tried to tell him not to worry but he continues to let it get to him. I know that it will pass. I just wish he would let go and let god, that is the secert, it is hard to come home to him in this place. I love him and know it will be ok. I quess I just have to big strong.
Other wise things are ok I have decided that I must get a second job it will be hard but it is needed. Well we will see. I got a 5 hour energy shot maybe Ill drink it and blog all night

Just a few more hours

In just a few more hours my life will be at the 7 point in my life. Life is in 7s and tomorrow is a new chapter. I have so many good things in my life today and thru the choices I have made I will continue to prosper and move forward. TO and I will celebrate or 7 years together. I will have 7 years sober and am planing on another 7 both ways. TO has made my life commpleate. We met in a meeting and when no one else wanted my mess he gave me a chance and the gifts started that night, even though for the longest he slepp with his walet.

Happy Friday

Today is the best day of the week. Friday yep when I finally get to relax for a few. I am sitting in my lazy boy with Thor. Watching old time TV and waiting for my pie to cool down. Cherry Pie.mm good.

Tuesday

Hey all here I am just kicking it and want to blog before I go to sleep. Went to a meeting tonight It was good. TO had some good things to say. I am so proud of him. In a week on the 8th we will be together 7 years. Man how fast time flys. The clan is down staris eating Ice Cream. Well now the boys and Tom and the boys are up here. Well I have decedied to move forward on my biz. It is going to be a good one. Well have to go.